Epictetus writes:
Remember that following desire promises the attainment of that of which you are desirous; and aversion promises the avoiding that to which you are averse. He who fails to obtain the object
of his desire is disappointed, and he who incurs the object of his aversion wretched.
If, you confine your aversion to those objects only which are contrary to the natural use of your faculties, & which you have in your own control, you will never incur anything to which you are averse. But if you are averse to sickness, or death, or poverty, then you will be wretched because of all these things will happen to you whether of not you want them. So remove aversion, then, from all things that are not in your control, and transfer it to things that are your in control but contrary to your nature and so causing you trouble.
This is also true for desire: if you desire any of the things which are not in your own control, you must necessarily be disappointed; and of those which are, you will find once upon getting them they hold no further interest. Instead use only the appropriate actions of pursuit and avoidance; and even these lightly, and with gentleness and reservation.
In my anguish... 