Changing focus…

I’ve been hesitant for a long time to discuss this, but to be honest, the “in my anguish” title, some 7 years ago occurred because I lost touch with my husband, who went AWOL. like the Rolling Stone song with Mick sings of the disparrows i.e. los disperoses of the Nicaragua years, I was sick in grief and fear. he was lost, he was disparrowed and I cried out in anguish to God because that’s all I had, I tried to tell people but they thought me crazy…what was i saying?

Hello are you feeling ok? Yes I am fine, it’s him, he has disappeared. I got platitudes, he will return, he’s ok. I did not know what to do. Since my fellow man had failed, i searched the Bible for something that echoed my fear, my complaint, my worry. I saw this line, I guess in a way another rendition of Psalm 23, but the rephrasing made me feel better…because as the Yahoo writer said, if the Lord my God is with me, who or what can be against me?

Alas in life I have found many things and people to be against me. It’s a horrible thing to realize that no matter how much you trust and are friends with someone, it is meaningless because you do not know his soul, and though he says his soul is with God, he lies…..…

Psalm 118:5-6 In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

In the Psalm that you quoted, I believe that the meaning is this:

That God’s love endures forever and in him true refuge can be taken. The Psalmist says that the Lord set him free, and this can be taken in the literal sense (that his enemies were overcame and he was therefore free from their assault) or in the spiritual sense that the Lord has freed him from his fear (If the Lord is with you, what can be against you?).

Psalm 118:5-6 basically means that in God we have a safe harbor where no man can touch us, though our enemies may surround us and assail us, but with the Lord with you, there is no need to fear what they can do, what the world can do because in him there is no fear because he is love and perfect love casts away all fear.

Let’s backtrack. My friend Joel won a 1989 Alfa Romeo Spider Veloce back in January as part of a football pool. the car was dirty and had not seen loving care in a long time but it was in very good shape, with no rust, no dings, or dents. Originally on Bring a Trailer we got fooled by a Quadrifoglio selling that same week for 23G. We did not realize that the Veloce was a step down. That took a while to sort out.

He won the pool with his high school friend Terence. They have known each other for 60 years and he trusted him and had no qualms about the deal. Alas months passed. Joel did not nothing and lost his storage spot. He did not think of paying for storage for whatever reason, but instead brought it Terence who like Joel had no garage and had to pay for storage himself. Joel also signed over the title to Terence so if Terence got a customer he could just sell it without Joel making the 1 ½ drive to Rochester. That I did not understand but that’s what happened.

When I asked Joel about that, he said he had had his druthers, but because he is not devout, he did not pray to God for help, but relied on himself…and that was a mistake. I keep thinking about that, he signed over the car to his friend, and trusted his friend, but did not trust God enough to ask him.

Well they could not sell the car. I put it up on eBay and got a firm bid for $6400.00 but the Israeli balked and refused to cough up the dollars. Terence lost heart, Joel was angry and I was furious. We did it again. Things were quiet as this time I put a high start, big mistake on my part in retrospect, but I worried because of Terence that it would sell for $2500. The number sticked in my mind, $2700.00 it was clear, it would sell for $2800.00. Oh no, I put a starter on for $4000.00 and felt assured that my visions were wrong, but when I slept they returned.

I see visions of something, always out of my control, warning me of what will happen, but they are so odd and out of the ordinary I do not know always how to place them. What is this context? What do you mean? I have a solid starting price, what does that mean $2800? And then on Saturday morning at 8:30 I was awoke to a phone call. Who the hell…Hi, It’s me Terence, I sold the car. For how much? $2800.00 he said. I didn’t know what to say other than “Congratulations,” and then I hurried downstairs to cancel the bid.

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